


What happens at 3 AM STAYS at 3 AM

by Miraculousstars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Dirty Salad, Dirty Thoughts, Fantasy, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hope, Imagination, M/M, Sastiel - Freeform, Season 11 time period, Season/Series 11, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Well-Written, Why Did I Write This?, salad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 00:06:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18457406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculousstars/pseuds/Miraculousstars
Summary: This is my first FanFiction for SupernaturalInspired by Iblis_Daughter’s fic, Keto DaydreamsSam fucks a salad, Cas tastes the salad, and Dean is close to discovering the truth...Be nice please :P





	What happens at 3 AM STAYS at 3 AM

Sam opened his eyes. Had he fallen asleep? He was supposed to stay awake to see Dean and Cas come home. A horrible thought washed over him - Dean was gonna kill him if he missed any calls. At that, Sam rushed up on his feet and wildly looked around for his phone. 

 

Why did he have to fall asleep? When he rescued it from the sea of the library floor, he quickly opened the phone app and checked his messages. Relieved to see no panicked missed calls or outrageously worried texts, he casually looked at the time.

 

It was 3 AM.

 

Sam was astonished at how long he slept. Last he remembered, it had been 2 o'clock in the afternoon. He must've been super tired lately to sleep for 14 hours... granted, he had been working hard lately trying to find a solution to their Amara problem. How had Dean not contacted him? Dean was always so reluctant to leave Sam out on a hunt, worried that something would happen to Sam the minute he took his eyes off him. Though, that fear had significantly decreased over the years, with Dean and Sam being a little more independent. They even had their own rooms. But for Dean to go so long without even a call was... well, a bit more than unusual.

 

Maybe something happened?

 

But Cas was there with him, and Sam was sure that the angel wouldn't let Dean get into any kind of trouble. It seemed much more likely that Cas persuaded Dean into leaving him alone. Then something stopped Sam's thought train before it could go any further (perhaps into gay thoughts).

 

For the first time since he woke up, Sam noticed his raging stiffy.

 

This hard-on seemed like no other, because it wouldn't go down. Sam tried everything, from thoughts of that one suicidal teddy bear (you know the one) to imagining his grandfather Samuel naked (that one nearly worked).

 

Even a cold shower wouldn't kill it.

 

So Sam knew what he needed to do. He needed to rub one out.

 

He thought of things that usually made him aroused (his 'wank bank' as Dean would call it). When that didn't work, Sam decided to let his mind take him wherever it wanted to.

 

Apparently, his mind wanted his and Dean's best friend.

 

This wasn't the first time something like this happened. Sam had caught himself having inappropriate thoughts regarding Castiel one too many times to be considered an 'accident'.

 

Sam recalled the first time he met Cas, the first time he laid eyes on him (at that point, Sam knew he was kinda gay and was gonna stay that way), he recalled how shocked he had been at how handsome the angel Dean knew was. And more than anything, Sam remembered the first time Cas spoke to him, that gravelly voice uttering his name.

 

When Cas called Sam an 'abomination', Sam's nerves were set alight even more than Jessica on the ceiling.

 

But what really took the cake was that one time Cas hugged him when they were trying to extract Gadreel's grace. The feeling of the angel pressed up against him was one Sam didn't want to forget. Even now, he searches for opportunities to do it again (so far, no luck).

 

As much as Sam's dick wanted to _get_ _on_ _with_ _it_ , Sam's stomach told a different story. It protested until Sam could no longer ignore the rumbling, so he made his way to the bunker's kitchen to find something to eat and hopefully make his rock-hard monster meat go back to being flaccid.

 

Since Sam was a rabbit food eater (once agin, Dean's words), he made himself a salad.

 

He got out some fresh kale leaves, a few rocket ones, some cherry tomatoes that he sliced in half and some French dressing to top it off.

 

He had assembled the ultimate salad, and it was designed to hit the spot. Of his salad craving, that is. Nothing else. (Totally something else.)

 

He took a fork and dug in. It was a plastic fork, because he liked to eat salad with a plastic fork instead of a solid metal one, so he made Dean buy a ton of them to make up for that one time Dean called Sam 'Samantha' while they were on a case (the people they were investigating _actually_ believed him).

 

Within minutes, Sam made quick work of the entire bowl. Unfortunately, his stiffy had suddenly reached new, epic levels he didn't know it could reach.

 

In other words, it just somehow got bigger.

 

Sam didn't know what gene pool led him to having a horse-sized dick, but whoever's it was, Sam did not have very nice words to say to them.

 

Exasperated, still a little hungry and confused as to why his dongle was still going strong, Sam made himself another kale salad. This time, instead of a French dressing, he went for a spicy vinaigrette (and it wasn't because he knew Cas liked it when he was human) to top it off.

 

Yes, he was completely aware it was almost 4 in the morning. Did he care though? Is the sun black? The answers to these questions were both 'no'.

 

With that, Sam got another black plastic fork and was about to start eating it when he just... paused.

 

Did that salad look amazing or what?

 

Normally, Sam wouldn't boast about his presentation skills but damn, that salad looked picture perfect.

 

Almost fuckable -

 

Wait.

 

Did he just deem a _food_ (not to mention one of his favorites) worthy of having sex with?

Was he still awake or was he trapped in some weird dimension?

 

Then Sam took another look at his creation. It looked so beautiful, and his cock was sooo hard...

 

It didn't take long for him to slick himself up with the vinaigrette so his dick could complement the salad. Did he dare to put it in? Thrust into the bowl as if it were a person?

 

He held his length in his hand, positioned it above the bowl and started to thrust.

 

It felt obscenely weird at first, his peen making contact with the sides of the bowl, rustling against the kale leaves, the tomato seeds and juices helping him plough his way through.

 

But as he started to get used to the sensations, even enjoy them, the slick and slide started to become _pleasurable_.

 

And as much as he was against it, thoughts of Castiel began to fill Sam's head.

 

Cas on his knees, his pink tongue poking out of his lips to circle the head. His cerulean eyes staring up at Sam, pleading for something only Sam could give him. Sam would gently guide him to putting the head in his mouth, let the warmth engulfing it take over him completely, feel the muscles of Cas's throat work over his dick as the angel let Sam's meat monster further in.

 

What if it were the angel he was fucking instead of a salad? How would Cas feel; taste?

 

The few times Sam had gotten to sniff him, he smelt like a mixture of honey and vanilla with an underlying scent of fresh rain. So if he smelt that good, he was bound to taste even better.

 

All of these things combined were enough to bring Sam to the edge, but one last thing brought him to completion.

 

"Sam?"

 

That voice, which sounded like thick maple syrup running over gravel, said his name and Sam spilled his load into the bowl.

 

He quickly tucked himself in and made himself look at least presentable, but didn't have enough time to hide the salad bowl before Castiel walked in.

 

"Hello, Sam. Your brother wanted to call you to let you know that the witch hunt was going to take longer than expected, but I persuaded him not to. I'm sure you needed that rest, right?"

 

There went his angel (since when did he think of Cas as 'his'?), always thinking of others. Sam's dick had proved itself to be insatiable, as it rose to attention again. Sam vainly hoped that Cas wouldn't notice.

 

He nodded, and his pulse started to race when the angel leaned behind him  and saw the salad.

 

"You made a salad, Sam?" Sam nodded again, incapable of speaking.

 

Then he nearly had a heart attack when Cas plucked up a couple of leaves, glistening with Sam's jizz, then put them in his mouth and started chewing before Sam could stop him.

 

Sam started to flush dark red, but luckily for him this is fan fiction and Cas didn't notice.

 

"It tastes a bit different. What did you put in it?" Sam wanted to spontaneously combust at this point. He was NOT about to let Cas know about the semen vinaigrette.

 

"It's a new brand. Thought I might try it."

"Well, I like it. Is there any more?"

 

Sam didn't know which was worse (or better, depending on how you looked at it), the fact that Cas liked the taste of his spunk, or that he wanted to make another salad with it.

 

"Sorry, Cas, but the bottle's empty, and it was a one-time only sort of thing at the store."

 

Sam would've stared at Cas's pout for longer if his brother Dean hadn't walked in.

 

"You two bonding over salad? Cas, don't turn into Sam, I bet he would fuck one. Ain't that right Sammy?"

 

While Dean and Cas laughed, Sam wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

 

"Dean!"

 

If only Dean knew how right he was...

 

[Incorrextquotes](https://incorrextquotes.tumblr.com/post/184168148977/the-person-i-reblogged-this-from-deserves-to-be)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel so bad for making this and ruining Sam...  
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr, we can talk about Spn or non-Spn related stuff.
> 
> @Incorrextquotes


End file.
